I started this blog with the intent of keeping the sole purpose of its contents to be parallels of my daily life and how it relates to fly fishing. The evolution of this project started with a honeymoon season of writing at least a blog post a week, taking a year off, losing my writing muscle and now trying to get back into the gym of a keyboard. My writing has also gone astray from that original intent and that’s alright. The four years since I’ve started fly fishing I got married, moved 4 times, started new jobs each time and have become much of what I am and am not proud of. The ebb and flow of life as a wife, a late twenties something, and a career drifter has revealed so much of who I am and where I see value in life. These years have changed my life more than the rest combined.
Tonight I’m thinking about revisiting the parallel of my life and my journey with fly fishing. I hope it finds cohesiveness somewhere in the words. I don’t really have a plan yet for this one.
When I wake up and know that I’m gonna go fishing that day I still get that feeling I got on Christmas morning when I was a little girl. Today could be the day that something amazing happens. Fly fishing just has that part of my heart that gets filled only when I feel that tension on the end of the line when a fish is running.
No matter when I feel my inadequacies as a woman with my flawed figure, the fear of failure with a job, the conviction of when I handled that argument wrong with my spouse; it all gets put into the proper perspective when I find myself in the water. Fly fishing is the one of the rare things that doesn’t take into account the score card I keep in my head of how I don’t measure up. My point in sharing all of this is that in these four years where I’ve done many things right and a lot wrong that each time I find myself walking toward a river bank with my fly rod it’s always been right. That Christmas morning feeling isn’t because of anything tangible I’m going to get but rather how my soul is going to feel when a day of fishing is done.
I guess in revisiting this it makes me realize that we can’t lose sight of the ways our souls become restored by immersing ourselves into something. Maybe for you it’s on a dirt bike, with a brush and easel, holding a guitar in your hands or having wine while enjoying a sincere conversation. Each of us has a part of our hearts that doesn’t need a person or an object but rather the unique way you can find yourself immersed in something that gives you authentic joy.
There’s not much a bell ringer for this post except the simple encouragement that if you’re feeling downtrodden by the weight that life has placed on you lately to remember what it is that gives you that authentic joy. Go for a run, enjoy a lazy morning with your spouse, dust the cobwebs off that favorite book or maybe also grab your fly rod and get out now that the sun is shining.
With lots of love,